The strength in surrendering to God's plan
We are again at the hospital, in just a few days we have seen the Hand of God working on our behalf. So many things happened, but reality of a daily walk with God. He will grab you by your hand and even when you cannot continue anymore. He will pick you up in His mighty arms, and He will carry you through.
My mom was actually feeling well, not at her peak but just with the expected side effects of chemotherapy. But the blood test results were saying otherwise… platelets 6k, hemoglobin 7,1… I so thank the Lord for leading me to pray through the night just after receiving the test results and the lab representative phone call telling me that my mom urgently needed to be seen by a doctor.
I woke up early the next day. It was actually my birthday. We had time to even take a couple of photos and open a few gifts that I had already received. We had breakfast together and by 9:30 am the doctor arrived home and said that she had to go to ER.
As my mom was leaving with the CNA we had so much peace and we enjoyed the very presence of God bringing into our lives that perfect peace that surpasses all understanding. The kind of peace that the world tells you you’re not supposed to have when going to hardships and tribulations.
She was supposed to go to ER for lab testing to confirm the results we had received the prior night. But again, as a direct answer to our prayers for wisdom and instruction directly from God to every health practitioner who sees my mom, the ER doctor saw her walking with help and started to inquire about it. I truly believe the Lord gave him the clinical wisdom to request a CT scan just by seeing her walk.
You see, several other specialists had seen her walk with assistance before to all her appointments including her chemotherapy. They asked questions but that was it. Then she goes to ER without really feeling bad, she gets admitted to the hospital after confirming the blood test results, but even before they did the transfusion they followed the ER doctor’s notes and they took my mom to the CT scan.
I am so thankful to God that the ER doctor was willing to receive instruction from our Maker and had the courage to go forward even though it didn’t make much sense. The day after they did the CT scan the doctor came to share with us the test results… two tumors were nestled in between two vertebrae and one of them was way too close to the spinal cord.
Two days later we were waiting for the approval to start emergency radiotherapy on the tumor that was close to the spinal cord. We were expecting the radiotherapy to start the third day of hospitalization. As I arrived at 8:00 AM at the hospital, even before I was able to go to see my mom, a lady from the nurse’s counter approached me saying that they were waiting for me, that they were doing procedures to change her to another hospital so she can go through the radiotherapy sessions. As I dealt with insurance and bureaucracy, I honestly did everything that was in my hands so my mom didn’t have to go to another hospital. Word came to me that the three hospitals the insurance wanted to send her were already crowded with patients. It was expected that they would be doing this since the hospital my mom was in was the best and most expensive in town.
After lunch I just told my mom, “Look, I think we just need to leave this in God’s hands. If it is the best for you to be transferred, He will protect you, if not, then you’ll stay here”. My ears rejoiced when I heard her say, “Why don’t we pray right now about it?”. I quickly said yes, and in my heart I just asked the Lord to anoint my lips and to please lead me to pray demonstrating a full trust in His supreme power and love for my mom and me.
The verse that came to my mind as I was praying, was the one where Jesus is speaking to the church of Philadelphia. I boldly approached the throne of Heaven clinging to the promise that the Lord will open the door of the Hospital where she would be best cared for. I rested in the promise that the door He opens nobody can shut (Revelation 3:8).
I asked Our Father to please close the doors through which my mom should not go. This promise came to my heart to remind me of the mighty God we serve. A God that has our best interest in mind always. A God that withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).
An hour later as I went to inquire about the insurance’s decision at the appointed office, the person in charge greeted me with a big smile. He had just hung up with the insurance’s agent who told him the other three hospitals would not take my mom because they just didn’t have a bed available for her. The gentleman said plainly, “Mrs. Johanna, the insurance doesn’t have any other option but to let your mom stay and we’ll do everything possible so she can start radiotherapy tomorrow morning. Do not worry.” Honestly, neither my mom nor I were worried. The Lord was carrying us through this ordeal in such a gentle way.
Dear reader, if you are not already going through a difficult time, reality is, eventually you will. In this world we will have tribulation, but always remember that you have a friend in Jesus, a friend who is closer than a brother. Your everlasting Father is running toward you with open arms. Just surrender your plans, your expectations, your life to God, and REST.
‘The Christian should often review his past life and recall with gratitude the precious deliverances that God has wrought for him, supporting him in trial, opening ways before him when all seemed dark and forbidding, refreshing him when ready to faint.’ PP 187
This blog post was originally written 3 years ago, but the reality of God’s Presence, His love and peace remains as faithful and true as He is.
My heart is full of thankfulness to You our gracious Father. Thank you for being so faithful in leading us to pray in the first place, hearing our prayers and then mercifully and wisely answering our prayers. The greatest miracle of all is for us, as human beings, to surrender our plans, our ideas, our expectations, our hearts to You. We need Your work in our lives. Please give us a desire to hear from You in Your Word and to trust You everyday more and more until a full surrender to You. We humbly put our lives in Your throne and we do it in the precious name of our Lord Jesus. AMEN.
