3 Steps to Move Forward when facing challenges
When was the last time you were suddenly faced with an unsettling situation and you just didn’t know what to do? Or, have you ever felt overwhelmed by a circumstance that seems to be out of your control?
What do you do? How do you handle the heavy emotional weight that you’re carrying?
In an unexpected situation, like just a few days ago when I was ready to go to Church, I lowered the wheelchair lift on my car and placed the wheelchair on it. But my wheelchair car lift stopped working. And it stopped working when it was lowered down to the pavement level so I couldn’t move my car.
OR, in a situation that has lasted for months or years, Like just a few weeks ago when I was dealing with a lot of pain which brought to the surface the ongoing reality of my mobility challenges.
Either way, God has been training me, He’s been rewiring me, to respond in the same way. And in my own simple words, it’s a 3 step framework:
This seems so logical, nothing new you may think. But just let me explain what I mean.
Sometimes the simplest concepts can be ‘the thing’ that gets us unstuck. And, I truly believe that an understanding of how God designed us, how he wired us, can go a really long way in empowering us to change.
So, SLOW DOWN, CONSIDER, AND TAKE ACTION.
Let’s start with SLOW DOWN
SLOW DOWN
Recently I found that Jeremiah 2:25 in The Message Bible says:
I rarely use the Message Bible but when I read the paraphrase of this verse I couldn’t help but appreciate the simple way in which it expressed the idea.
SLOW DOWN means self-awareness. It means practice presence. Practically it could mean to slowly drink 4 sips of water, or take 3 or 4 slow deep breaths, AND check in with what’s happening at the moment.
The findings from a study on focused breathing, known as attention-to-breath (ATB), showed that this technique can really make a difference in managing tough emotions. When people practiced ATB, it not only calmed down the amygdala, the part of the brain that deals with emotional reactions, but it also improved the connection between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex, which is super important for emotional regulation. Basically, the study suggested that paying attention to your breath can help keep your emotions in check.
But slowing down is not just that, remember the verse in Jeremiah?
With slowing down comes an acknowledgment of the situation, yes, BUT ALSO of the emotions and thoughts present in your mind.
Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor shares an interesting insight: it only takes ninety seconds to recognize an emotion and let it pass while you observe it.
When you’re feeling stressed, just taking that brief pause – SLOWING DOWN- to say what you’re feeling—like noting, “I’m getting angry”—can quiet down the amygdala. Remember? The part of your brain that is a major processing center for emotions. MRI studies confirm that this practice of “emotion labeling” not only soothes this brain region but also helps you regain your composure, according to Dr. Bolte.
In my example of a sudden situation, when I realized I had to replace my wheelchair lift in my car, I was feeling overwhelmed with the situation.
I sat in my car and I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.
I acknowledge I felt overwhelmed, worried, and confused.
I realized it was a normal response to something happening suddenly that had to do with my ability to get to where I needed to be, not just that morning but for who knows how long.
As I was going through this, my thoughts evolved into a prayer, and I found myself pouring the situation into God’s hands and sharing with Him how I was feeling.
Let me pause here in the story so I can get to the next step.
CONSIDER
Consider means to recognize and do not overlook, to not set aside.
It’s not a hasty or impulsive decision, but the result of careful and thoughtful consideration.
In the book Option B by Sheryl Sanders and psychologist Adam Grant, I read about Martin Seligman, who as a psychologist, has spent decades studying how people deal with setbacks.
He proposes 3 beliefs that can stunt recovery from a setback, two of them are:
PERVASIVENESS, the belief that an event will affect all areas of our life; and
PERMANENCE, the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever.
So, in the midst of a problem, what is God’s counsel about what we should consider so we can deal better with the challenge, with the setback, with suffering?
1. Consider what is to come
I consider that our present sufferings are not comparable to the glory that will be revealed in us.
This verse tells us To take an inventory, that is, to estimate, or esteem, to think on. On what?
On the Present sufferings. The word present, in Greek ‘nun’, means now, immediate.
Personally, I have had to take the time to deal with emotions of the past, because I didn’t deal with them as they were happening. So, I’m not thinking about what happened three years ago or seven years ago. I need to focus on what I’m dealing with today.
The Word of God calls us to compare, to take inventory of what I’m going through right now, not for the sake of pilling up evidence for the need of a pity party.
But to put things in perspective
Paul sees it like an accountant balancing the books.
He looks at what we endure for Christ now,
and then he considers the immense glory promised to be revealed in us through Christ.
But, What is the glory that will be revealed in us?
Remember Moses when he asked God “Show me your glory”. The glory of God is His character, and it was then revealed: “The Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty” (Exodus 34:6, 7).
The future reward of having the character of God in us is incomparably greater than any present hardships—it more than makes up for them. To those who are looking forward to this reward, even the toughest times can seem valuable.
What else are we called to consider in challenging times?
2. Consider Jesus
Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
This time, the word translated ‘Consider’ in English differs from the one in Romans. It comes from a compound of 2 words and it has the connotation of proportion. So we are to consider in what proportion Jesus suffered, endured hostility, and compare it to our suffering.
And I need that. Whatever God says in His Word that assures me that I don’t become weary, tired, and discouraged, I want.
Jesus faced numerous challenges throughout His mission. He endured both physical and emotional pain. The continuous challenge of His words and actions, contradicting and interfering with His intentions. Throughout His life and in His death, He faced numerous insults and mockery. And most of all He suffered the weight of all sin, and the consequence of it.
Choosing to slow down, to check in our emotions, choosing to consider Jesus in proportion to ourselves,
And what is to come if we remain in a saving relationship with Him, God’s glory, which is His character, fully revealed in us.
These strategies will help us become more resilient, by reducing our tendency to believe that an event will impact every aspect of our lives and that its effects will last indefinitely. What Martin Seligman called pervasiveness and permanence.
You know, when I was sitting in my car after 10 to 15 minutes of trying to make the lift work, as I slowed down, and acknowledged my emotions and the situation, I started praying, just sharing with Jesus.
I didn’t understand why I was facing yet another setback. Why after praying for months, working hard and finally getting last year the lift, now it was not working. As I pleaded for His Holy Spirit the rushing thoughts calmed down, the peace of God came to me and His sound mind gave clarity to my thoughts.
I decided to call my best friend just to see if she hadn’t left the house yet, and maybe she or her husband could help me out. Even before I grabbed the phone I thank God for just opening my mind to think clearly, and take action.
3. TAKE ACTION
My friend hadn’t left her home and she agreed to go as soon as she could.
As I was waiting for my friend and her husband to come and help me out by removing the wheelchair and trying to make the lift go up so I could drive the car, my heart swelled up with gratitude to God for these precious friends who were changing their plans to come and check what was going on.
The goodness of God was once again leading me to Him.
When I realized the lift wasn’t going to work, I started declaring that which I did not understand,
Complaining about a situation, asking why. But, CHOOSING to slow down, to consider, allowed me to receive God’s work in my mind so that I could say as Job: ‘I will ask You, and You instruct me.’
And as He did, in my heart, I said: ‘I retract, And I repent.’
Did things get solved right there and then when I surrendered my heart? NO.
Were my friends able to fix the lift? NO
But they were able to lift it up so that I could drive the car and another friend would wait for me to help me unload the wheelchair, now placed in the back of the car.
Has the issue with my car lift been resolved after the weekend and 3 days of making phone calls, asking around, and searching the Internet? NO
Have I been tempted to lose hope and courage? YES
And I go back again, and again to God.
I slow down
I consider, and He enables me to
Take action, one step at a time.
Are you tempted to yield to anxious thoughts that something bad will happen? Or to give in to absolute discouragement?
Even on the darkest days, when everything seems bleak, don't be afraid. Trust in God.
He understands what you need. He has limitless power. His love and compassion are unending and never fade. Don't worry that He might not keep His promises. God is the ultimate truth. He will never go back on His word to those who love Him. Moreover, He will give His faithful followers the support they require in tough times. God has the power and desire to generously provide His servants with the strength they need to face tests and trials.